As a little girl, I was never considered by the other kids as “popular”. The echoing of children’s voices still rattle around in my head of not being cute enough and never wearing the latest fashion from The Gap. Of course it hurt me and as a little child, it affected me more than it probably should have. I myself began judging my appearance and personality in a very harsh way, as the other kids did.
I never really knew why I wasn’t accepted by the world I was living in. I realize now that having been brought up in a broken family and by a mother with a different ethnicity changed who I am and how others looked at me. I grew up in the Mexican culture learning things that I thought everybody else was learning. Students refused to accept me and were constantly making fun of me. Looking like the idle American sweetheart was not a big deal to me, but it was to all the other girls. Many times they had the gall to tell me off in front of my very face. Telling me I was not cute and I never would be. My hair would be pulled back in a scrunchy and my clothes from the racks of Wall mart, which I believed to be acceptable attire. These girls convinced me that no matter how hard i tried i would never be liked by the world. I was held back from being able to create memories of a normal childhood. I am still tormented by the clashing of overwhelming feelings: rejection, hate, and nonacceptance. It makes me turn into that little Hispanic 5 year old that I used to be: running around, hiding from the rocks that were flung at me to indicate that I was no better than the dirt smeared across my face.
I believe that words can change many lives and they certainly hurt more than we can imagine. Everyone does it, and it’s hard not to. It has come apart of the American way of life. No one ever considers the person at the other end of the gossip line: the victim It is a fact that no one will ever know someone for who they are and why they are like that. I’ve been told by many of the adults around me to always be kind to everyone. I can save people, and I can change them. Just with a simple smile and a little “Hello”. I can’t bear the idea of anyone going through the pain that i had to growing up. Bless every soul in the world, may their hearts never be broken and their smiles never be taken away.
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