I Believe In The Power of Cupcakes
I believe in the power of cupcakes. I believe in the pretty little packages of joy that beckon me from the bakery window. I believe in their enticing colors and their mysteries hidden inside paper wrappers, waiting to be revealed. I believe in their sublime power to heal hunger, desire, and sorrow. I believe in the power of cupcakes.
When my girls were little, we lived very much in the country. It was a 45 minute drive into town. Their dad worked swing shift, so it became a custom to drive into town twice a month to shop. We would leave at 5 pm, shop until midnight and then head home. By that time, we were delirious with hunger. Being a good mother, I would stop to buy cake. Now, this is where things get tricky. Cake is big. Cake is messy. How do you eat cake in a car? Cupcakes are just right. They were just enough to ease our hunger for food and our hunger for decadence. We would laugh and sing all the way home on the power of a cupcake.
Later, it would be my desire for hope that would lead me back to cupcakes. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I was stunned. We were told to come into town every week for treatment, and we did. On our first trip, I stopped the car at her favorite bakery. Confused, she asked me what I was doing. “We are going to make these trips about something good, not about chemo,” I said. “So every time we come to town, we need to do something great.” As time progressed and the cancer and the trips took their toll, we stopped shopping, but we never stopped cupcakes.
When my mother died, I was flooded with sorrow, flooded with people wanting to help with this thing that I wanted no part of. People came and brought food and said, “Eat.” I did not want to eat. I felt alone. I wanted to be alone. At the end of the day when everyone was gone, and I was as alone as I felt, I sat down and ate a cupcake and remembered. I remembered a life time of moments with my mom, and I knew I was not alone. I would always have her and cupcakes.
My life is just a collection of moments held together by the thread of love. I might not always recognize it. It might be hidden under icing or wrapped in paper, but it is there, and it is why I believe in the power of cupcakes.
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