I believe in the power of tears

Pimthida - Bangkok, Thailand
Entered on March 22, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

I have always been a softy in the family, even in my group of friends.

I would cry over the simplest love story only because the pureness of that love touches my heart.

Lately, I had tried to be tougher, to be stronger.

I had tried not to cry.

After graduated my Bachelor’s degree from Thailand, I planed to apply for a graduate school in Boston.

Last October, I flew to Boston to stay with my sister during the application process.

My sister and I are very close. She is the person who is closest to my heart. We talk about everything, from the most embarrassing moment to the proudest one.

She is my best friend.

After shared the same bedroom for 20 years, I took over our room when she moved to Boston for her Master’s degree, almost 2 years ago.

When I graduated, I was so glad to finally get to stay with my old roommate again.

The first month I got there, I had a hard time dealing with my homesickness. However, after 5 months in the bean town, I started to love Boston more and more everyday. I could not wait to come back and study in Boston as soon as I can.

Then one typical New England day came along. I went downstairs just to find a letter from the university I applied.

I did not get in.

I was devastated.

However, I tried to be strong and pretended that I was alright.

I wanted to show my big sister that things have changed over the past 2 years that she has been away. I wanted her to see that I was stronger and was not a softy little girl like before.

Not getting in the university means I would probably not be coming back to Boston once I went back to Thailand.

The following was my last week in Boston.

It was so hard trying to hide those sad feelings inside on my last few days.

I can hardly walk on the quite streets of Boston, which once made me feel so lonely, without my tears ready to come out.

The hardest part was spending the last few days with my sister. All the routine things that we have been doing over the past months and thought we would be doing them together again soon.

After hiding those tears inside of me for too long, on my last day at the airport I finally cried…big time.

My sister and I were hugging in front of the gate C18 at Logan airport. Our eyes were full with tears.

As I was walking into the gate, I tried so hard not to look back at my sister, afraid that if I did, I would not be able to stop myself from sobbing.

As the plane was running so fast on the runway and about to take off, my body was attached firmly to the seat. On the other hand, my heart was pounding hard, eager to run to the pilot cabin and tell the captain to stop going this fast because I was not ready to say goodbye.

I cried all the way to Chicago.

When I stopped, I realized that I have never felt this strong before.

I called my sister on the phone when I finally arrived home. We cried again.

Today is my first day away from my best friend, I still cry a little bit.

But now I know that it is OK to cry. It doesn’t mean that I am weak. On the contrary, it even makes me stronger than I have ever expected.

I strongly believe in the power of tears.