Everyday people struggle with their lives. As a society, we’ve become wholly despondent to others. More than that, we’ve become wholly despondent to ourselves. In living in this world, we have a responsibility to become tranquil with our own spirit so that we can learn to reconnect with the important things. It seems that our failure to do what we yearn in this life comes from our inner failure to take the time to grasp our dreams. I believe in silence and contemplation during hectic times to create a center of balance within ourselves.
Even at such a young age, I’ve had a chaotic life. I have my share of troubles and secrets, of dark and bright days, and even bouts of confusion as to why I’m here. To combat these problems, I’ve practiced what has been instilled in me since childhood: silence.
Despite how most see me, I am not always quiet. I have my manic moments, but my voice is usually saved for times when I cannot just express myself with a glance or a smile. When I was younger, I was a great deal more talkative, but I always worked to cultivate serenity within myself. This feeling is what gave me stability during trying times.
While rebuilding a relationship with my dad this past year, I realized that it was he who gave me this calm. The days I remember with him are few and far apart, but the memories have always been imbued with their own hushed melody. We are short with our words, but inside us is a reflective prism of emotions that compels us to think more openly, breathe more freely. Perhaps we do not always find our thoughts easy to comprehend, more so our nature, but through silence we find ways to function. We express our regrets and forgiveness with simple glances that say it all. I have found an inner peace that allows me to release and just live.
With these teachings, I have become who I am today. In all things I try to find beauty, though it is not always easy. To myself, I am a living paradox. My voice, which I try to exploit so little, is the one thing I want to apply to change others lives. People question my personality and distance, but as human beings, we are complex and never really perceive all we would like about each other.
I have not completely found myself, nor do I understand what I feel all the time. And yet, these few moments I take each day grant me more time to discover. My beliefs help me be at peace with the things I’ve faced at such a young age, the challenges I carry now, and the formidable tasks to come. Silence is a connection that brings comfort to those who are comfortable with themselves, this I believe.
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