Air is my God. Bear with me on this one, I promise I’ve thought it out. We need it. I mean we really, really need it. If you’ve ever acquired what I call a second pulse, you’ll know what I mean. You can get one diving, singing, or playing tuba. I first got one passing the time in biology class by seeing how long I could hold my breath. After there was just no more air in my lungs, a vacuum, a wringed out sponge, my lungs began to beg. They throbbed. They pulsed, in syncopated rhythm with my heartbeat, but stronger, more honest, more urgent. I have never felt a need more wholesome than this second pulse. It seemed to rumble (and I love things that rumble), “I need air. I need it more than anyone has ever needed anything ever.” Then, suddenly, with a downward expansion of my diaphram and a dropping of my jaw, I breathed in. The air flooded down my throat, stuffing every alveolus to the brink with the breath of life. That breath made me feel alive, virile, awake (sensations I wouldn’t normally have associated with bio). The moment I felt that air inside of me, I knew that Air is my God.
I hesitate to use the capital G, but I refuse to give Christianity a monopoly on Big Letter Dieties. In fact, why not say Air. There, I said it. Air. I believe a man can capitalize anything he loves above all else, and that is what I believe in a nutshell. I worship Air because it is what I need and love most in this world, because Addie can worship her Jewel and Aborigines can worship their Songlines. If I had another set of lungs to fill myself with Jesus, I might be coaxed into his flock, but I for one have never felt Jesus inside of me. I’m not trying to convert you to my fledgling Church of Homogenous Gasses, but I urge you not to worship a concept you have never felt within you. Worship that which completes you, which fills your body and soul with utmost contentment, whether it’s God, music, your fellow man or, as in my case, Air. I’m sure some people out there have or think they have felt the touch of God, and more power to them, but I’m going to leave the worship of Him to those folks. Air is my God. You are all welcome to your own.
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