Okay, I’m officially old. Not mentally or physically, but pop culturally. I’ve hit my mid thirties and now I’ve start looking at music, TV and movies and go, “Huh?” It’s like I woke up one morning and all of the sudden I started moaning about what teenagers are into. To paraphrase Chris Rock, “It’s like when you go out to a club and see an old guy there. And he’s not really old, just too damn old to be in a club.” I don’t belong in the club anymore, either. And I don’t want to be in that club. I want to be in that OTHER club. The one from my youth – when every bit of entertainment was created for me and I loved it all. Now it all sucks and it’s got me thinking that I’m a crotchety old man who hates everything. So below is a list of things that make me realize that I’ve not only been kicked off the pop culture train, but the next time it comes around it will probably run me over.
I knew I was old when…
1) I yelled out loud to no one in particular, “Who the hell are Panic at the Disco?”
2) I realized that I was the same age as all of those idiots on “thirtysomething”.
3) It occurred to me that I had stopped watching “The Real World” after the New Orleans season.
4) I complained about personalized ring tones. (“I mean, come on! What’s wrong with just a good, old fashioned telephone sound?”)
5) I complained to a friend, “Why the hell would anyone want to watch TV or movies on an Ipod? That’ll never last.”.
6) It hit me that my kids will think the music of Prince is old, just like I thought the music of the Beatles was old.
7) I could remember a time when MTV played only videos.
8) It hit me that the closest I could come to viewing dirty movies when I was fifteen was watching scrambled Cinemax.
9) It occurred to me that the last time a used hip hop slang I was saying that something was “stupid dope fresh”.
10) I first learned about MySpace and I’ll I could think of was, “huh?”
11) I overheard some kids saying, “‘Live Free or Die Hard’ is a sequel? A sequel to what?”
12) I could remember a time when Starbucks only sold coffee and it was considered a big deal to go into one.
13) I walked into an arcade and saw a huge crowd of GUYS playing “Dance Dance Revolution”.
14) I saw that Abercrombie & Fitch went from selling outdoor-ish, preppy clothes to selling…well, I’m really not sure. Frankly, I’m afraid to go on there.
15) I started hearing Cure songs on adult contemporary stations.
16) “The Dukes of Hazzard” movie became a huge hit.
Now, seriously, someone please tell me. Who the hell are Panic at the Disco?
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