I believe that the infinity of the universe is actually storage space for the heaps of astonishing love taking form during every moment of parenthood. The wealth of newly born emotion that is constantly taking unseen shape has to go somewhere- and that is where the vast space of the universe comes in. To that end, before Finn came into our lives, if I started thinking too much about how the sky goes on forever I felt as if my brain just might explode from the absolute incomprehension of it. I would go around in circles over that the idea that if the sky did in fact end, there would have to be something beyond the stopping point so in fact it would never really ever end. With the universe being so unimaginably huge, in order to keep my brain from exploding and my mind from reeling completely out of control, I would anxiously come back to earth where, now, I sit on the grass of Observatory Park and I look down at that tiny beautiful boy. Finn Leonard. And as I look into his blue brown eyes I realize that I’ve made an epic discovery. The never ending quality of the universe is mirrored in the ever burgeoning love I am draped with every time Finn grins at me. What I feel for every ounce of that gorgeous, amazing, giggling little boy is truly something that has form and although I cannot touch it nor can I put the appropriate words to it, the strength of it is such that if the universe weren’t quite so big I’m not sure if it could contain everything that I’m feeling. And I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I get to spend my whole life with him and his father. And I realize that rather than the enormity of it all making me feel as if I’m going crazy, it is in fact what keeps me quite sane because Finn and I get to be a part of it together and the vastness of it all is suddenly just fine. So once again I’ve come to believe that the infinity of the universe is actually storage space for the heaps of astonishing love taking shape during every moment of parenthood.
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