Inspiration comes from Who we Admire

Caitlynn - Westbrook, Maine
Entered on March 5, 2008

There are many instances and experiences that inspired me to become the person I am today. It’s nothing I could have ever learned on my own though, and it’s hard to put in words exactly how thankful I am for my best friend, Brittany, for showing me a deeper meaning in life without ever knowing it. Putting it in words actually makes me feel like I’m lessening how much I appreciate it because I could never find the right words to describe it. I believe inspiration comes from the people we admire, and although my best friend passed away, the one thing that remains with me from her is hope to some day be as strong as she was.

My friend battled cancer for three years before deciding she was ready to come to terms with it. I always cringe when people refer to that as losing a battle, because I could never say Brittany lost a battle. She woke up every day feeling sick and miserable, sometimes wishing it would just be over, but she managed to put a smile on her face for her visiting friends and family. Although she was the one in pain and hurt, she never wanted people to feel sorry for her. Most days I would come to visit her, and she would ask me how I was doing and make me tell her all about my day before even considering answering any questions from me about how she was feeling.

That’s what I admire about her, her ability to put her friends and family before herself even though she was the one who was critically ill. She was the glue that everyone needed to not fall apart. Instead of her relying on us for support, it’s as if we looked to her to guide us. She let everyone know that the world didn’t have to be sad on her account feeling one hundred percent. To me that is true strength.

I remember Brittany every day when I’m struggling with something, or putting a lot of effort into something, she reminds me that it’s worth it. I work hard every day for Brittany, because she can’t. Brittany always told me she was never afraid of dying, only afraid of what she was going to miss, so I told her she would never be gone because she would always live through me, and it’s important that I be the best person I can honestly be not only for myself, but for her as well.