I Believe In Strength
I believe in strength. I believe in love. I believe in the strength of love. My mother died of leukemia when I was just a year old. She was 28. I didn’t know what it meant at the time but as I got older the effects started to hit me. My sister wasn’t as fun. My dad became angry and abusive. My relatives stopped visiting. When I was four my dad remarried. I knew he was lonely so I pretended to be ok with it because I thought it would bring us all closer together. I was wrong. I became the outcast, the black sheep. Every year made me look more and more like my mother and, honestly, no one wants to see their dead wife or dead sister or dead daughter walking around. It brings back sad memories. So naturally I was shunned by all of my family members.
I learned to live my life alone and in the shadows. No one to turn to. Nowhere to run. My life was a pitch-black room and the world was behind a foot of bulletproof glass. Fortunately, my mother was there with me. She taught me not to be afraid of the dark because I was there for a reason. She taught me to smile at Death every time he took a swing at me. She taught me that no matter how worthless people made me feel, there would always be someone who needed me.
Everyone tells me that I am wise beyond my years. I give the credit to my mom. Being the outsider, with her as my only friend, I’ve learned how to watch, how to listen, and how to be strong for those who aren’t.
I believe in strength. I believe in love. I believe in the strength of love. My mother loves me with all of her heart and I her. She is my strength to stay alive and my motivation to move forward. She is always with me; talking to me as I sit silently at the back of the class, listening to me when I sit on my windowsill at three in the morning, and advising me in my times of need.
I once asked my mother, as we sat together talking, why I had to live in the dark. She smiled at me and said, “Because if someone were to turn on the light, it would look like you were talking to yourself.”
Guiding me through the darkness, she is the Angel that lights my path.
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