Moving Forward

Amanda - Brooklyn, New York
Entered on March 2, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Close your eyes. Now imagine that you are at home, lying in your couch, munching on your favorite snack. You haven’t done anything all day except relax. Your not worried about anything except whether “Gossip Girls” is showing a new episode tonight or a rerun. What you’re feeling is what my body yerns for.

My alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. that morning. I quickly jumped up to turn it off so that my younger sister wouldn’t awaken. I grabbed my cell phone in a fist and I lay back down. I began to stretch and then I flipped over and began to doze off again. At 4:40 a.m., my cell phone began to vibrate, warning me that time was passing and that I had to begin getting ready. I drag myself out of bed and I began to shower.

“I used to wake up some days

and wish I’d stayed asleep

cuz I went to bed on top of the world

today the world’s on top of me

everybody’s got opinions

(they share)

They ain’t been in my position

(they don’t care)

That it breaks my heart when I hear what they have to say about me yeah

(what they say about you)” [By: The Fighting Temptations “He Still Loves Me]

While in the shower I began to sing, like always, my favorite song. It motivates me.

It must have been a little after 5:30 a.m. when I realized I had to hurry up. So I got dressed quickly and on my way out the door I grabbed a granola bar and a bottle of water. I was now on my way to my seven a clock class. For the rest of the school day I basically just dragged myself.

During E-band I had yoga. Here I was able to relax and just forget about everything. But at the end of the band I was right back to the real world. At 12:45 in the afternoon I was on my way out the door. How I longed to go home, but instead I was on my way to work. From three to eleven I was subservient to Walgreen’s. The hours seemed to drag on, and for some reason the longer I stood at the cash register, the meaner the customers became. I couldn’t wait to get home.

I dragged myself into the house that night a little after twelve. “UGH” I sighed as I threw my stuff on the couch. I kicked off my shoes, unbuttoned my pants, and began to heat up the dinner my mother left for me in the microwave. I ate about half of it because I’d lost my appetite. As I sat on the coach getting ready to do homework, I began to feel helpless.

All day, everything was just a rush. I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning so that I could be on time to school, then I had to go to work, where the customers where rude, then rush home and do homework. The worst part of it all is that I had to repeat this all over again in about two hours. Luckily, every day isn’t like this. And even though I know its a lot to take on, I know I am not the only one. What you have to understand is that I believe in moving forward. Standing still just isn’t an option, no matter how easy giving up seems.