Don’t Judge Me

I believe in withholding judgment. I have always been the person who approaches others with the greatest expectations. That they will have the same intentions I have; most of the time perfectly kind and innocent. It had not occurred to me that not everyone thinks this way until last year. I was walking and talking with someone downtown when we walked by a group of people and the person I was walking with looked at me and said “Those people like to party”. I stopped and said wait do you know them? How do you know they like to ‘party’? To which the person I was walking with replied, “I can see it.”

This bothers me, why must we judge people on their looks without getting to know someone. And then base the way we treat a person of our perceived notions. This not only happens with strangers but also with people we know, and I’ve found that this is the basis of most arguments or misunderstandings I have. They seem to end in, “ok I guess we weren’t on the same page” or “I had no idea, all along I thought YOU were mad at me!” It frustrates me that if we take the time we can ask before judging so many problems in my life could be avoided.

Even with complete strangers; I feel like I don’t have the chance to show who I am to people when they judge me for my clothes, my friends, the way I walk talk or react to a situation. In psychology we are learning about the fundamental attribution error. Meaning that it is natural for people to judge– I don’t believe this. Judgment is something we can all control to save the feeling of ourselves and others. So many hurtful things spread from one word and action that we can consciously control. Some people call my belief naive but I call it common courtesy no one likes to be judged for someone they’re not.