My journey to self-discovery is quite typical. I grew up with a fear of my selfishness and the failure to please everyone around me, namely my parents. Of course, I was a typical child who wished for materialistic effects, but I strived to please so many people by behaving properly and making the right decisions as well. I became so accustomed to pleasing others by doing all of the right things, so accustomed that I eventually lost track of myself in the process. I willingly allowed my parents to decide what type of future I would have, what type of person I would be because their happiness was something I strived for.
At a young age, my parents convinced me to pursue a career in pharmaceutical studies at WSU and to continue living in Wichita in order to stay close to home. My youthfulness prevented me from fully understanding what type of situation I was in, but my need to obey my parents in order to reach their happiness played a large role in my compliance. Throughout junior high, I ignored my faltering interest in medicine and my desire to travel abroad. Nevertheless, as I grew older and began to learn more about myself, my need for compliance began to gradually wear off.
Recently, my brother graduated from high school and began his college journey at WSU. His passivity regarding the path to a successful future is still very strong and I’ve learned a lot from merely witnessing his struggles over these past few months. He willingly submitted to my parents’ authority and attended WSU, even though his true desire was to attend KU to become a doctor. Even though I am not experiencing every bit of his journey, observing his mistakes and errors has only strengthened my desire to reach my future goals. I will not be negligent about my dreams.
As I quickly move through my high school years, I am gradually discovering my true identity. As expected, I have gained and lost so many interests since my youthful years. I have met many influential individuals that have impacted my way of thinking and changed my dreams concerning the direction I wish to follow for my future. The closer I get to the finish line, the more fearful I become regarding my future goals and dreams. Even though I am still not completely sure about the path that I wish to pursue once I begin my college journey, I am positive about learning Japanese in preparation for my dream of studying and living in Japan.
My lifetime fear of displeasing others and ignoring my dreams has diminished. I have learned that I have a duty to myself and my desires. I believe in an individual’s ability to avoid negligence and pursue their dreams, no matter what obstacles stand in the way.
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