“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Every morning when I wake up, I try to instill this Bible verse, from Hebrews 11, in my head for the day ahead of me. I look back on the many different obstacles that have occurred throughout my life, and I am amazed to be where I am now. As I reminisce over those circumstances, I am reminded not only of the pain and hardship I encountered but, more importantly, the factors that enabled me to persevere. The factor that stands out to me the most is faith.
Just like every other girl, I’ve always dreamed of real-life fairytales. In my opinion, having a “happy family” was the perfect definition of a fairytale; however, when I was about ten years old, my parents’ decision to separate shattered my dream.
My parents’ battle for custody of my brother and me was one of the most wearisome times I can remember. Of course, they both wanted full custody of us knowing we could never choose one parent over the other. I wanted it to be equal because that’s what my love for them was, equal. I could not fathom living with only one of them. They were both my parents. I wanted both of them equally in my life, and fighting for that was heartbreaking. It was then that my faith took hold of me. I stopped to hear God’s soft voice whispering, “Don’t lose hope. Everything will work out for good.” Eventually, my parents went to court and received equal custody. That was just the beginning of God’s power and the faith He instilled me with to persevere.
One would think after that, the situation might go uphill but, it didn’t. We stayed with each parent equally, but that didn’t stop the drama from continuing. One problem would be solved, and another problem would arise. It was like a continuous emotional roller-coaster and the “stop” button was nowhere to be found.
Weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. Through tears, counseling, and tremendous patience, my brother and I tried our best to understand what was going on and cope with it. Between all the court dates over custody and child support and the continuous drama between my parents, I learned very quickly that being in the middle of a situation you have absolutely no control over is almost unbearable. My family had been completely torn apart, and there was nothing I could do. Luckily though, I was able to turn to someone who had control over the situation and the power to get me through. I buried myself in scripture and prayer in search of answers and hope. My questions weren’t always answered, but I always seemed to find hope. God kept quietly saying, “I have a purpose for all of this; just have faith.” Those words seemed to get me through, no matter how many times I heard them. I kept telling myself that everything was happening for a reason and that God was in control. In return, my faith grew stronger and stronger.
It’s been eight years now, and my questions still remain unanswered. I still cry, pray, and search for hope. Through my faith, I find that hope and the understanding that, one day, everything will make sense and be all right. For me, faith is being sure of the peace and love that I hope for and being certain of God’s presence that is sometimes hard to see- this I believe.
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