Don’t Fight the Changes

Kevin - Orchard Park, New York
Entered on February 28, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: setbacks

A few weeks ago, I was enjoying myself at a Saturday night party, in the company of good friends. This feeling of contentment was short-lived, however, as I would receive a call from my mom notifying me that her boyfriend, Mike, had just beat my dad up after my dad had hid in the bushes, jumped out, and attempted to attack him. While the brawl was developing, my mom attempted to break the two up. In a fit of fury, my dad shoved my mom to the ground, rendering her unconscious for a moment. Shockingly, my dad proceeded to go to the police station and press charges on Mike for assault although he himself had provoked the confrontation. When Mike was made aware of this, he pressed charges on my dad. As my mom said good-bye, she notified me that I would have to stay away from home for a few nights.

Anyone who knows my family would have to admit that an event like this had been in the making for some time. My mom has been having an affair for three years, after finding out that my dad has in the past not been fully loyal to her. However, both parents have opted to remain living in the same house and not get a divorce, as they feel that it is best for my brothers and I if they try to make the marriage work. However, tension between my parents has made them bitter at each other over the past few years, and this has caused frequent fighting and harsh words.

I am sure that their living in the same house has worsened the lives of both my parents, as they each frequently talk to me about the faults of the other and comment on how much better their life would be alone or how they hope that the other is happy with their new lover. It is clear that my parents do not enjoy being around each other anymore, and that they try to avoid each other as much as possible. The situation is hard on my brothers and I as well. While we are doing our homework at night, we are almost always interrupted by a fight or a scream. When my mom goes to visit Mike on Wednesday nights, my youngest brother almost always comes to me in tears, asking why Mom is not home. When she returns, my other brother will begin to scream at her and call her derogatory names, trying to guilt her into ending the relationship. Although it is commendable that my parents have tried to make their relationship work for such a long time, it has become clear by now that their efforts are not going anywhere. They need to finally accept what that they cannot change the natural feelings they now have for each other before they let the negative situation destroy their lives, just as all people should when their attempts to make things better turn out futile. This I believe.