I use to think that death was far beyond my reach and that losing a love one could never happen to me. The first funeral that I ever attended was at the age of nine. It wasn’t someone really close so it really did not impact me in anyway. As I started to grow older I learned to fear the word “death”. In school I would hear my friend’s talking about deaths in their families. I remember thinking to myself “that’s a situation that I can never happen to me. One thing that I did not realize was that someday I would have to face with such a horrible experience.
I went a long time through life not knowing the feeling of losing a love one. I would hear about people losing love ones through death, but I never really experience it. It was until my freshman year in college when losing that special someone became more common than I would realize. The second semester of college seemed normal as the first one. One Saturday morning of January 13 t I realize how awkward the feeling of losing someone felt. It was the death of my cousin, who was 26 years old died of a heart attack. This wasn’t what made me realize what death really was, this was just part of it.
The experience that really changed my life completely happened three months later. It was the death of my best friend. I remember that we use to hang out everywhere we even had the same classes, so most of the time we where together. I always wanted to let him know how much he meant to me, but I always left it for another time. It happened one Friday after noon when I received the horrible news that my best friend had died in a car accident. I remember feeling my blood running through my body, my heart pounding fast and loud, and feeling my whole body weak. I can almost close my eyes and see myself reliving this experience. When my cousin told me the horrible news, I remember hugging my dad, something that has always stayed in my mind was my dad saying that I had to be strong for him. I remember crying my heart out and telling him “I can’t, because he is not here to show me how to be strong”. The day I walked in the funeral I had a picture of us; I laid it in his coffin. I stared at him for a long time, a part of me said that he was gone, but another part of me begged him to get up. Since this day I have learned to cherish the fiends I have. I have learned that a tomorrow might be too late. It’s hard to really let someone know how big they are in your life. I have learned to express my feeling a little better. Since this day I notice that things happen for a reason because it’s all part of a big plan to help us mature.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.