When I was 19 I decided to join a church and start a new life. I learned many things in church about loving and being kind and was excited to get to know my new church family. At first, I would smile at people and be nice, but no one was nice back. I’d go to activities but even then people didn’t really seem to care. I perceived this to be very hypocritical and it left much to be desired on my behalf. After a few months I decided to stop going to church and continued on as before, living day to day without really giving my purpose here on earth a 2nd thought.
After the birth of my son, I decided I would give church another try. I enjoyed the meetings and teachings, it was the people that were unbearable. Nonetheless, I began to go again. One Sunday as I sat there listening, I had one of the biggest AHA moment in my life. Instead of focusing on others I actually began to look at myself.
Then it occurred to me: “When was the last time I’d ever said Hi to someone I didn’t know at church?”…Never! Had I become that horrible sister I always criticized? Had I become that which I abhorred most? The answer was just as horrifying as the question …yes.
As I digested this new found insight I began pondering on all the things that bothered me about others. Why wasn’t my husband more romantic? Wait! when was the last time I did something romantic? Why are people such aggressive drivers? Actually, why don’t I allow people in my lane instead of waiting for them to cut me off?
After looking into myself, honestly, I came to the shocking truth that almost all the things I criticize about others, are things that I’m just as guilty of doing. I have to say this new found insight was horribly embarrassing to admit to at first, but once I came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t as fabulous as I thought, I began focusing on the changes I needed to make, and my eyes were opened to a whole new world that allowed me, not only to better myself constantly, but to also turn those potentially bad days into insightful ones.
After overcoming many of my own insecurities and ridiculous notions of what is cool and what is not, I believe most of the defects I see in others are my own. So to all those who drive 30mph on a 40mph road (reminding me of how I drive in the snow) and those who never stop talking when I’m ready to leave (giving me flashbacks of guests I’ve held back in my home as I go on and on) and you who don’t return my calls! (Sorry mom), Thank You, for helping me gain a better insight of who I am.
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