Forgive and Remember

Lori - Christiansburg, Virginia
Entered on February 21, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: parenthood

Forgive and Remember

Lori Buchanan

Forgiveness is the greatest act of kindness a person can give; we all need it sometime or another. As humans we are prone to mistakes and as children most of us were taught to forgive and forget, but in my own life I have found otherwise. Sometimes remembering is the only way to allow yourself to move on and become a stronger person.

At 17, I have given, as well as received my fair share of forgiveness. Over these short years I have realized the people that need my forgiveness most are those closest to me . Being close to these people and learning to forgive them shows how much I need them and teaches me something about them. No one is perfect but their imperfections don’t change the fact that they love me and I love them.

I admit that my mom and I bump heads every once in awhile, but as I got to the end of middle school, we started to argue a lot more. It was like she felt the need to control me in every aspect, including my future. Her telling me that my idea to become an architect might not be the best idea I’ve ever had, really hurt. To me her comment that “you have to be good at math” meant that I wasn’t be smart enough.

I harbored a lot of anger towards my mom for a long time over that comment, but I continued to work hard in school, and kept taking higher level classes. At the end of my sophomore year I decided that I would take AP classes the next year and, of course, my mom suggested against it. It wasn’t until I went to camp for a week that I realized how much the anger was interfering with my life. “Look Mom,” I said over the phone, “The truth is I hate that you don’t think I’m smart enough to succeed and to do what I want with my life.” Mom didn’t say anything for a few minutes because she had no clue that she had ever given me that idea. Needless to say we had a long heart-to-heart, and I realized that I had to forgive her. She is my mom after all.

As of right now, I don’t really have a desire to be an architect, but not because of what my mom said; I know that if I really wanted to, I could still live out that dream . I choose to remember my mom’s comment and the effect it had on me as a person. I realize now that my mom didn’t want me to stress because I’m not one who takes kindly to things that I’m not automatically good at. I also realized that even when no one believes in you, that doesn’t make it okay to give up your dreams. So I believe in forgiving and remembering, not to hold a grudge, but just to remind myself that I can succeed despite what people say.