Is Everything Really that Bad?

Joshua - Livonia, Michigan
Entered on February 19, 2008

We all go through those days in life where we swear that life is conspiring against us, and that we are doomed not to succeed no matter what we do. When our car breaks down on the side of the road, or when the bills seem out of control and you think there is no way you can pay them all. I have been to this place on more than one occasion, but the more I travel down this road the easier it becomes actually, because I believe’ at the end of today, things really aren’t that bad.

A couple years ago my mother suffered a horrendous fall that left her in coma for over three months, and left her with resulting short term memory loss. It was just me and her living together so when this occurred I was left almost all alone to take care of myself and the house, which for an eighteen year old is no easy feat. I did what I had to do to not only survive however, but also to prove to her that I could be strong. To do this I worked extra hard and made connections with people that would further myself for both school and work. Now two years later I’m living with my friends driving my own car and paying for my school by myself, I think I did pretty well. However with the good always comes more bad and I wasn’t ready for anymore bad.

On the same day a couple summers ago, only a few months after I moved into my new home, I lost my car and my new computer which had all of my school work on it. I could not even begin to describe the level of frustration that ran through my blood on that day. Now, not only did I not have ride to work and school, but my school career was virtually over with almost before it began. On top of that I had no money to pay to get my car fixed right away either so I had to let it sit in a parking lot for three days before I could even touch it. Even then I certainly didn’t have the money to take it to a professional garage because of how much I knew they would charge. This was obviously someone trying to tell me that I was not allowed to get anywhere in life and I was destined to be stressed out all the time for the rest of my life, I was literally out of options.

However after about three days of moping around waiting for a solution, I had my car towed to my house and bought a “how to manual”, and then proceeded to fix the car myself. It took three weeks mind you, but I did it. I also fixed my own computer but that required money too, so that too waited until I could afford it. In the end however everything worked out rather well. All the frustration I felt melted completely away the minute my car started back up and computer started running again. This is what really leads me to believe that you may not realize it at the time, but things are really not that bad. I was upset sure, but a lot of it came from the fact that this just wasn’t what I wanted to happen At my worst point I still never lost sight of the fact that I did have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and still had a place to work. Some people don’t have any of these things, and I’m upset because things just aren’t going my way. As I said before though sometimes you need to just step back and look at things after they have happened and I think you will laugh at how mad you got over simple things. Cars can always get fixed, computers will come and go but you will always remember how you feel at certain moments in your life, and I don’t want to look back and realize that most of the feelings I felt were anger.