I was what society would call a “planned baby”. Meaning my parents were in Love, they were financially stable, and they knew they were mentally and emotionally ready to bring a child into this world. But ever since I can remember, I have always thought of myself as what society would call a “mistake” baby, or the “oops” baby, or the “surprise” baby. The logic behind this is that ever since I can remember, I have made mistakes, and I’ve never been near perfect. Through the ups and downs of my youth and the rocky roads of my adolescence, I look back on myself and see me, always hoping to never get caught, or always promising to be better. I basically fell into this never-ending tunnel of mistakes and problems that were supposed to be in my control, but that I could never get a hold of, and up until this last year I thought this was just how my life was going to be. But now, I’ve grown to realize that making excuses is just a crutch for me to lean on. Promising things I know I can’t keep will only disappoint people more, and that if I ask for second, or third, or fourth chances, I need to not only talk the talk but walk the walk. Looking back on these past 17 years of my life, there is a lot I could say I would change, but some things mistakes, I know I would have to keep. Because, those mistakes; those decisions that I made, have shaped me into the person I am. And they will have a great impact on the way I live the rest of my life. And now when I look back, I don’t see mistakes that I’ll have to live with in shame, I see mistakes that I have learned from. That I will remember next time, that have helped me figure out right from wrong. As long as I don’t make them again, then I know that in the end I am a better person because I learned from them. And this I believe.
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