Life consists of experiences. Some are good and pleasurable, others are painful or disappointing. All are lessons learned. When I was younger I went through some experiences that completely changed the rest of my life; because it changed my perspective on everything. I don’t regret the decisions I made because they brought me to where I am now. These experiences taught me a few things along the way.
At 16 years old I had a baby. At 18 I left my daughter with my mom and left home. I began doing drugs of all kinds and went months without contacting my family. I hit rock bottom. All I cared about was getting high. I stole from people to get drugs. I stayed in dirty hotel rooms with dirty people so I could snort a line or take a hit off of whatever it was they had. At one point I was awake for nine consecutive days. When I ran out of “junk” I physically hurt so bad I cried. There was a night when I blacked out. I just fainted after a hit too big for me. When I woke up I was hallucinating and delusional.
During this time my boyfriend and I decided we would take off one night and go to South Carolina. So we did. High as kites me, him and another couple took my car to South Carolina. We stayed at his uncle’s house. The very first morning we were there, we got caught at Wal-Mart shoplifting. We all went to jail. I had to call my mom. She came to South Carolina, got my car and went back home; leaving me sitting there. I spent 14 days. After time served, she came and got me.
When I got home, that same night I left again. I went back to the people I was with before and started doing drugs again. I wound up in jail again and again. There was finally a point where I had had enough. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was severely depressed, and I literally ached. So I called my mom and had her come and get me. I told her I wanted to come home.
During the next couple of years I started getting my life back. I gained custody of my daughter, got my own apartment and held down a job. Not too much later I met a wonderful man who I married a year later. We now own our house, have two nice cars, four children between us, we are both in college and I have been drug free for five years.
What keeps me going everyday is knowing that nothing can stop me. I have hit the very bottom and have dug my way back up. I am bound and determined that I will keep going up. To me, there is no top out point. I firmly believe that there is absolutely no excuse to keep me, or anyone, from moving on. There is always a way out. The only person ever standing in my way……….is me.
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