This I Believe
I believe in the power of female friendship. I believe that a woman can survive the socially destructive evils of life through the support of other women. The support that women can provide to one another is unmatched by any other social institution. We can pay for professional therapy and alternative solutions, but nothing matches the feeling of acceptance and normalcy that other women can provide.
When I meet a new women, I always ask myself, “Is this a potential girlfriend, soul-mate, confidant?” The worst impression another woman can make, is to say “Most of my friends are men. I just don’t get along well with other women.” Does anyone else find this statement misogynistic, self-loathing and utterly disgusting? It makes me want to run the other way.
There is nothing more endearing than meeting a woman and hearing, “I loved meeting you, let’s go have a drink sometime.” Why do we save all of our flirtation and charm for the opposite sex, when other women are the ones who can make our lives more satisfying and interesting?
Real girlfriends last a lifetime. I hope that the men in our lives will endure, and be around until old age. But I know who my real friends are. They don’t complain when I experience moments of hormonal dysfunction. Although they may disagree with my poor decisions and indiscrepincies, they stick by me, and love me nonetheless. We don’t argue about who should take out the trash, or who should take the kids to school. It’s total acceptance, regardless of moral indignations and social mishaps. It’s pure love.
I feel empathy for women who don’t have other women to turn to when they’re having a bad day. I mean seriously, who is going to listen to me bitch about the mundane atrocities of my blessed, everyday life? My husband? My boyfriend? My lover? Not likely. It’s going to be my time-honored, cherished, female companions who listen to my endless prattling with complete rapture….
“Oh my god, I totally understand”. Or more honestly, “I think you’re taking this a little too seriously.” Or how about, “You really need to find someone more worthy.” What can be better? There is no one who can validate my existence better than a true girlfriend.
There is something interesting that I have noticed about a group of girlfriends joining together for a group outing. It seems to be very threatening to others who recognize the power of female solidarity. I have a group of friends who endearingly refer to themselves as “The Betties”. There has never been a group of more self-assured, male-loving, strong women that ever walked the streets of Durango, Colorado. However, social reactions to the Betties range from male repulsion to social intrigue. There seems to be something about women’s laughter and confidence that inspires fear in the most manly of men. Do they think we are laughing at them? Maybe they would lighten up if we invited them to join us, however that would probably ruin the fun.
I realize that most of my dear girlfriends have experienced the negative realities of life. They’re not the high-school cheerleaders and prom queens, but the middle-school “tramps“, and “stoners”. They are women with a past. They are women with experience and regret….my girlfriends, my soul mates. I believe that my female friends are responsible for existence as I know it. Because of them, I can be real. Girlfriends are the essence of life. This I believe.
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