This I Believe

Whitney - Claremore, Oklahoma
Entered on February 7, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

When I was 13 my sister who was only 16 got pregnant and I was devastated and thought that would be the experience that changed my life. However it became one of the best experiences and I got my nephew who is my favorite person in the world because of it and it wasn’t until I was 17 that I had the next moment of true devastation. My senior year of high school my mother who was my spiritual leader cheated on my father. I have never been as heartbroken as I was that day. I stopped speaking to my mother and pushed any positive influence out of my life.

I allowed my mother’s betrayal and my parents’ divorce to change who I was. I was no longer the girl who wanted to do everything right and follow all of the church’s rules but rather decide and do whatever I wanted. After my parents’ divorce, along with it was the beginning of college I began to drink, experiment sexually, try the “harmless” drug, and no longer attending church. These things were the opposite of who I used to be, I used to be completely anti-drug, sex, and alcohol and attended church every week and now I did those things along with looking down on those who didn’t. Alcohol was what I relied on the most though, I used it to escape my life and became a different person when I was drunk. I lost my first love and best friend because of the effects alcohol had on me.

I hit rock bottom and embarrassed myself before I realized who I had become. I still loved God, I had just forgotten who I was supposed to be and why. After falling further than I thought I ever would I began to get my life back on track and figuring out who I wanted to be. As I did this I slowly allowed myself to see how amazing my life really was, I had a fantastic father and grandparents who would do anything for me and although my mother had failed miserably she still loved me too. I also knew that I needed to change if I wanted to be a good influence for my younger brother and nephews who mean the world to me. Therefore I believe that bad things happen for a reason and sometimes you have to fall hard to figure out who you are.