This I Believe

Jessica - San Antonio, Texas
Entered on February 7, 2008

28 and Ready to Go

At 28 years of age I had a great job for a great company. I’ve always gone a certain direction in my life. The direction I thought I was supposed to go. All my friends were aiming for that life climbing the corporate ladder. I jumped on the bandwagon. I was on the corporate road and it was the only road I took. I did well. Why would I ever want to go to college? I had the job everyone wanted. I was earning a great pay, awesome benefits, well known company, and an opportunity for a career. What else could I want?

One day the light came on. I was empty inside when it came to my job. I had all those things that everyone I knew wanted and always told me how lucky I was to have. I heard the praises day after day. I gave them a smile as if I knew I had something great. They didn’t know that I was willing to give it all up.

I believe at 28 years of age I finally figured out what I wanted to be when I grow up. It is never too late to decide. It’s never too late to change your mind.

It’s extremely difficult to wake up one day and decide that all the jobs you’ve had and all the work you put into this career isn’t making you happy. It isn’t even coming close. Still you go to work 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. That’s a huge chunk of my life I’m not getting back.

Soul searching is just a meaningless phrase until you experience it first hand. I would laugh under my breath whenever I heard someone say they made a decision after a little soul searching. But soul searching is the only way I can describe it. I searched within myself day after day wondering what it was that I was missing. What was it I yearned for? Many times I came up empty and discourage that I wasn’t ever going to find the answer. I was where I was going to be for the rest of my life.

It feels like one day I woke up and it was all too clear. The one thing I never wanted and the one thing I thought I would never need is the answer to all my questions. I was going to go to college. Looking back you would think that I would be apprehensive about giving up my job and my career to go back to school. It was one of the easiest decisions I ever made.

The fall of 2007 was my first semester of college. I was nervous, scared, and uncertain of what I had gotten myself into. I wasn’t ready to go through the high school experience all over again. High school felt like I was having facts thrown at me and expect remember them. I was expected to have some kind of revelation. I was only 17 or 18. I was busy hanging out with friends and doing things I thought was important at the time.

Surprisingly, I love college. It’s nothing like high school. It’s not all about learning academics. It’s so much more. College is like the job I always wanted but never had. Finally, I was in a place among people with the same goals. I was actually being asked for opinion on different subjects. Not only was opinion asked for but I had to write a paper about it. Hundreds of my words put on paper that someone actually wanted to read. Not only did they read it but they commented on it. I was being graded for something I wrote. It’s a whole different experience once you learn to appreciate it. I had no clue in high school what my education was all about.

All these years I’ve been living my life job after job not being appreciated. Job after job it was like no one cared what you had to say. I was being paid to do a job and not for my opinions. No one I worked for or with seemed to care about making a difference. No one wanted more. Day after day they clocked in and clocked out. If only I could make them understand there is so much more out there.

When your little you’re taught that you can grow up to be whatever you want. The world is yours to make what you will of it. As you grow up why does that seem to diminish? It doesn’t have to. The world is full of endless opportunities.

I learned at 28 that I can be whatever I want to be when I grow up. I’m finally ready. I’m ready to plan out my path and just go.