This I Believe

Andrea - Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Entered on February 5, 2008

I believe in the serenity prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I was 12 when the world felt like it was crashing down on me. I was athletic built with curves not really seen in a 12 year old. I played third base on the high school softball team and the determination to do anything. I started to lose weight the first week of school and with two a day practices and games late in the evening I had managed to adjust my lifestyle to fit this fast paced schedule. That means skipping breakfast and dinner in order to be on top and never behind in any of my extra curricular activities.

After weeks of this unmanageable behavior I was quickly deteriorating and life as I knew it was in my control. Now instead of living life to the fullest I dreaded practices and food occupied my mind constantly. At first all was well, I got compliments on losing weight and my softball was at its best. Then obsession grew more intense and things I thought I had control of was now controlling me.

Courage to change the things I can. After weeks of therapy and sports out of the picture, I was sent to an inpatient facility. This was the worst 3 months of my life. I slowly faced my fears and realized I had more to offer in life than some eating disorder. I had chosen to use food as an outlet and hide other problems in my life that I couldn’t express.

And wisdom to know the difference. Years went by and the struggle continued but this prayer helped me through some very hard times. I grew to accept my body and all its curves as a story of strength and acceptance of a better life. I now look back on those terrible three months and am thankful for the second chance that was given to me.