It Sure is a Big World to be All Alone
I can distinctly remember the morning when I was informed of my grandmother’s cancer, the afternoon that I received the call that my friend died and the night that my cousin was taken to the hospital. Each time it felt like my heart was being ripped out and it left one big, giant hole. My lungs were slowly being compressed together causing me to take rapid, shallow breaths. My legs and arms felt numb; my reflexes slow and clumsy. Tears pooled at the hollow of my throat and left trails of salt sticking to my skin. I was in pure and utter pain. Even worse, I felt suddenly isolated and removed from the world. I was all alone.
After these brief moments of panic I remember being held in the arms of my dad. Before I had felt like the walls of Jericho were collapsing on top of me; in his arms I was under a shelter. I knew that right there was a place where I could sob as long as I needed. He brought me back from my isolation. He showed me that I was not alone; I always had him to fall back on. My father loved me enough to patiently endure my abundance of tears falling on his shirt. He was taking my burden away from me. The pain lessened and the sharp edges were dulled. I could feel him actively trying to put back together the pieces of my broken heart.
Not long after my father’s hug I would feel healed, not necessarily happier, but definitely better than before. It’s obvious that I gained strength from his exuberating love. He was the net that caught me when I fell off my wire.
This power of love is what I believe in. Love brings people back from a world created of fear and desperation. I know that through love, pain and anger are taken away. For me, I survive each day by knowing that I am loved unconditionally. Even on my worst days when I am mean and grumpy and selfish, someone still loves me. I may not know my purpose in life yet, but knowing that someone loves me and supports me whole-heartedly gives me a drive to find one. And the ultimate love that gives me the power to make it through each day, takes away all these mundane problems and saves me from the surely inevitable insanity comes not from someone of this world. He is my Savior and he died on a cross to save me from an eternity of hopelessness.
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