This I Believe

Elena - Freehold, New Jersey
Entered on February 3, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: family, gratitude

As I see my mother…

As I see my mother, I see how much time has gradually transformed us. She is a beautiful woman from deep within as well as physically. By the time she was 18 years old, she was already a mother of three children.

Her upbringing was very strict. Her life was full of joys and frustration.

As I see my mother, aging, I still can see the traces of beauty that time has withered away. Yet her grace still parades around us. I wonder about things, such as, what is in her thoughts? How can she still be working? Why she is not enjoying her life while she remains in good health? Why does she worry about any of us so much? Is she happy?

As I see my mother, I thank God for allowing me a second opportunity for a better health and to be able to see how one grows old, ages with time. Time sneaks by without anyone noticing.

I realized that I was buried under materialistic matters. I have learned to make valuable time to embrace life and to give and show my love to others.

As I see my mother, I see myself and I get scared and wonder how the rest of my life will be.Will I be able, or will there

be a way to subdue Parkinson’s disease? Will

I forever have to worry about my health?

I also wonder, Am I demonstratin my love and admiration to my mother?

Perhaps, one day my daughters will also feel the same doubts, ask themselves similar questions, have the same fears, but I truly hope to be present to give them

reassurance. To be able to show them that I will be okay, I will live through them.

As I see my mother leave my house every weekend, I cannot stop the feeling of emptiness she leaves behind. I always

find myself looking back to watch her go and again I wonder, will I be missed the way I miss my mother?. I close my eyes a

nd think about my daughters and hope time

will leave good memories of me on their hearts.

I will make sure I tell them to enjoy their young, adventurous lives. Not to be afraid of life’s challenges, that is ok to stumble and

confront any hurdle that life might throw at them. But, above all, I will let them know that I will be around in case they need encouragement, support and above all, love.

As I see my mother, I wish I can erase the many years of pain and suffering she silently faced while I was at the worse stage of Parkinson’s. She never shed a tear, never cried in front of me, although I had listened her sob silently. She was always reminding constantly to hold on, not to loose hope, to be strong, while she prayed.

She gave me strength.

As I see my mother leave to go back to her home, my heart is pumps full of joy. I treasure the time she has dedicated to me. Thanks to her, I dont feel lonely anymore and for that I am very grateful.

She is not only my mother, she is also a friend.

As I see my mother, I will run towards her again and again, hug her tight, kiss her in her forehead and whisper in her ear:

“Thanks mom….I love you.”