Believing in something anything is what I have always wanted to do. I wanted to know that someone or something was there to protect me when I was in danger, comfort me when I was scared, or share the good times with, but through the many trials that I have faced, I have noticed that the only person that I able to trust is myself. I believe in the power of one’s self. It took a long time for me to understand that if I wanted something to be done, I would have to be the one to complete the task. My thinking like this is a sad result of years of crushed hopes and dreams. I like to have a close network of people to rely on for emotional support, but so many of the people I thought were closest to me have let me down in terrible ways. I could not believe what I was hearing as I was told one of my best friends had told my personal business to everyone. I was humiliated that I was so gullible to believe I could trust someone with my life’s story, and our friendship suffered a terrible loss.
I know I cannot base my opinion of life on a few not so good experiences, but they have definitely changed the way I interact with the people I once told everything. My life is beginning to be dictated by the way other people make me feel, and I know this is not the way I have intended my life to end. I believe my life is mine to live and mine to experience the way I wish to experience it, but there are so many outside forces that are doing their best to stop my advances in their tracts. Sometimes I just wish everyone would let me live my life the way I want to live my life. I am going to live only once, but the way things have been going, at eighteen, I have yet to be allowed to live my own life. I believe this is my life, and I should be allowed to live it as I see fit. I am dedicated to taking control of my life and living it to its full potential and to me that means not caring about what others think of me, but doing what I think is best for me and my future.
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