God Grants Courage during Life’s Difficulties
I’ll never forget that early Friday morning. As we drove to the hospital, I leaned back in my chair and tried to breathe deeply and relax. I thought about everything that had happened in the past week. My lung had collapsed, again, and after this many episodes the doctors decided surgery was necessary and no longer just an option. I had known that lung surgery was a possibility since my first spontaneous pneumothorax, but I never thought it would actually happen. When they told me, my heart and mind started racing, and it seemed like everything else around me stopped and stood still. All I could think about was how I would feel the morning of surgery. How would I allow myself to go into something so scary? They were going to cut into both of my lungs. I didn’t think there was any way I could handle it. However, I was about to learn what I now believe: God grants courage to those who need it during the hardest of life’s difficulties.
As the day of the surgery approached, I began to feel more apprehensive about it. Every time I thought about it, I began to breathe heavily and the fear in my eyes became visible. I knew the doctors and my parents knew what they were talking about, but that didn’t seem to comfort me. I wanted to get better, and I definitely wanted my lungs to stop collapsing, but I couldn’t grasp the bigger picture and see those positives. I couldn’t see past the actual operation and the difficult recovery. This is when I began to realize that it was out of my control.
It was during this time that I began turning to God when I was scared. I asked him for courage and peace of mind, and although I was still scared, I was starting to feel better about it. However, the night before the surgery anxiety started to set back in. I was so worried about the next morning. I felt like I was leaving every safe thing that I knew and I wouldn’t be back for a while. Despite all of this worry the morning came, and much to my surprise, I was ok. I have always heard about the power of prayer and how God grants courage when it is needed, but I was so scared that I didn’t think it would work for me. I was wrong, and I can honestly say that I felt at peace from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep on the operating table. God gave me the courage to take on the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. He gave me courage to take on this obstacle, and I believe that it will stay with me for the rest of my life.
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