This I Believe

Violetta - Scranton, Pennsylvania
Entered on January 23, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: love

I believe that someone has to love you before you can love yourself. Being alone is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. I was always alone. I felt as if I were trapped in a dark place with no means of escape. I felt like I was dying slowly from the inside, out. No one cared, so neither did I. My heart felt empty, and my body felt like it had no soul inside. Everyday, my body would walk on its own, machine-like. The strangling darkness crippled me, and I couldn’t live or love. “You are nothing”, my inner voice constantly reminded me. My falling was so silent no one noticed. My mind was riddled with horrible thoughts that would not dissipate.

Then, out of nowhere, a light pierced through my seemingly impenetrable darkness. This light came in the form of my future boyfriend. He saw me for who I was. Eventually, he saw my ugliest side. I was terrified that he wouldn’t accept me. Still, I confided in him that I suffered from depression, anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I expected him to downright reject me. However, the only movement he made was to hold me close and assure me that he wouldn’t leave. Needless to say, I cried my eyes out.

After that, everything changed. When I cried to my boyfriend, I let go of my pain. Because he loved and accepted me, I was able to do the same in return. I began to show my true self in public, even my most hideous sides. I made friendships that will last a lifetime, and for that I am grateful.

I’m happy to say that my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost three years, now. He continues to keep me afloat in the sea of life. He helped me to love myself. He gave me a gift that has no price. The darkness around me was replaced with the light of everyone I met. Now, my darkness has become a mere shadow at my feet. This is my truth, and this I believe.