This I Believe

lucia - 60639, Illinois
Entered on January 22, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: parenthood

The most valuable thing I have learned in life is to believe in myself. On November 14, 2006 I found out I was soon to be expecting a child and I knew I had a lot of responsibilities coming toward me. Even though I was having trouble with my relationship I knew with or without his help I could raise my child on my own. Now that I have my baby I believe in myself more, just being able to accomplish being a mother is a great thing. Being a mother has made me go through things I never thought I could go through. The consequence of being a mother took me to another level of adult hood. I no longer have my young teenage years to enjoy. I’m not in a steady relationship with my child’s father so I’m pretty much on my own.

In my point of view you should live up to what you choose to do everyday of your life. Do what you enjoy and love to do and forget about what others think of you. It’s your life; don’t let others live it for you. People tried to put me down by saying that I was not going to be able to make a good independent mother. But I still believed in myself and did not care about what the world had to say about me.

When I was young, to be honest and moral, life seemed like a straightforward goal. I now know that it’s not always easy to see what should be done and even harder actually to do it. Nevertheless I’m grateful that I still have some time to keep trying to get it right, And to savor each remaining day in my life. I always tell my son that he has a beautiful life to look forward to everyday. Even though he doesn’t have his father next to him to show him what is right and wrong and also to show him love. He still has me and his family and he will grow up to be a young handsome man and know that his father was not there enough for him like he should have. He will also know he can count on me and my family.

I was eager to have my baby boy. But the experience of giving birth had me in such horrible pain and I wanted it to soon be over. I couldn’t handle the pain that was coming and that’s when the doctor came and said that I was in need of an emergency c- section. The doctor said my babies head had turned to the side and they were not able to carefully get to the head out. At that moment in my life I was so scared of loosing my baby. Not only did this time bring tears to my eyes but also my crazy experiences with my child’s father putting his hands on me because I refused to let him see the baby. I believed I had all the right reasons to not let him see the baby. He only called me when he had nothing to do. Our child was not a priority to him. It seemed as though his friends were more important. This upsets me so much. How could a man do this to his child?

Through all of the life changing experiences I has went through I can only grow from them and make better decisions for myself and my son. All the memories I hold inside I share with anyone who is willing to listen. Hopefully who ever hears me will look at life the way I did, by living my life to the fullest and not caring about what the world has to say.