This I Believe

Jacqueline - Chicago, Illinois
Entered on January 22, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

This I believe

It takes a whole lot of courage, confidence, and will to change. I used to ask myself all the time “how can someone change if they don’t want to?” not one, not two, not even three, but many answered “you can’t see a change in yourself if you don’t want one.” That’s exactly what I believe. The lady who I used to call my mother has been addicted to drugs her whole life and still even now struggles with her life. She has been to rehabs, churches, hospitals, whatever, you name it and still theirs no change.

Their was one time that she was clean for 4 years but I don’t know what happen, I think she went back to hanging with the same friends and being around the drugs again. To me she can’t even know people that do it she has to be around clean people if not she’ll go back to her old ways. That right there tells you that when you change you have to change for good, not just for a little bit then go back, it has to be for good. I remember her telling me that it’s not that easy, that she’s scared of changing and getting clean because she’s scared she’ll fail again.

My father who’s not big on change himself was always the one trying to help people or change them for the better, when really he couldn’t. His wife that passed away a year ago was another drug addict, he tried so hard to help and change her that he got caught in it himself. I tried to explain to him that he couldn’t change her if she didn’t want to but he didn’t understand. So he went and told his wife and my mother, that if they didn’t stop he was going to try it, and you can kind of guess what happened because now he’s heading down the same path.

It’s funny because through their mistakes and bad choices I had to change. I had to learn to take care of myself and to make better choices than what they did. I don’t think I’m fully changed the way I need to be but I am on my way. I promised myself that I would change so that I turn out better than my parents did.

I believe that change is a very big part of everyone’s lives and that it can either break you, if you don’t step up to the challenges in your life or make you, so that you can change for the better. It all depends on if you want to see a change in your life and how you handle it.