This I Believe

Brock - San Antonio, Texas
Entered on January 21, 2008

When discussing my beliefs I tend to be very forward and upfront. This is true because I have a lot of pride and I care so strongly in my beliefs. I have been challenged throughout most of my life by peers and family for my beliefs mainly for the fact that I am gay. I “came out” to my mother, by accident I must say, at age thirteen. I grew up in a deeply religious home where going to church on Sunday was required and missing a Sunday session to ‘worship’ was not an option. This was quite a struggle for me not just because I am gay but because of my differences in beliefs between the majority of my family when discussing religion.

At a very young age, I knew that I was gay. I had feelings for other boys that I knew were not ‘normal’ nor were they returned. I found myself fantasizing over boys and not feeling interests in girls. I thought for the longest time that this was some sort of a phase I would overcome, however, I never did. I hid my homosexuality from my friends and other members of my family until I publically “came out” at sixteen; little had I known that my mother had already revealed this part of my life to most of them and I was unaware of this fact. However, by me saying it publically and to the people I cared for most was a ground breaking experience for me. It was liberating and I never felt more at peace with myself than ever before! Surprisingly, I cared more for how my friends would respond than how my family would. As most gay people will tell you, friends love you regardless of who you choose to love and who you seek out to spend your life with.

I believe that all people are human and all humans are simply human! Gay, straight, white, black, transgendered, poor, or rich…all people are simply people. All of us seek to survive and to become the individual that best portrays our inner selves! Years ago, I believed that my homosexuality defined who I was. Now I know that this is very untrue. It simply makes up a part of who I am and what I believe in.

My ultimate belief is that all people deserve respect and an opportunity to become themselves. Society sets unobtainable standards that create terrible feelings of unworthiness and self doubt. This, I assure you, if there is a god is not what he/she intended. I believe that we are here to learn, love and care for each other. I believe that the best teachers are the individuals that you surround yourself with. Our friends and family help mold us into the people we strive to become. Being gay has nothing to do with my success or my ability to succeed. Being gay is a quality that I possess that some may find disgraceful and sinful, however, I can only reply by believing that love can’t be either of these things. Love is what the world needs, not wars and separation. My mother took it quite hard when I “came out” but now she supports me and actively participates in gay and lesbian events. This acceptance is not necessary for me but it certainly puts a smile on my face!