The world remains and will continue to remain a vast one, holding mysteries and the unfathomable which may leave most lost and baffled. What is my purpose here? Why do I carry out my daily routine? And even more profound- What is the meaning of my existence? These questions may seem esoteric, but in truth, they cross our minds at least once in our lives, sometimes lingering, grasping at any simple clue towards the solution to the “big question”, but most often, entering our mere human minds only briefly, realizing they are unwelcome. Many refuse to come to terms with this, leading their lives with no possible meaning, simply “going through the motions”. At this, I refuse to become one of the “many”. At fifteen, I assume most kids my age have confronted this topic, meandering through their teenage wasteland, emotions ravaging their already physically morphing bodies, but few have really come to a consensus. I have been thinking about this ever since middle school, but I never came to realize that the answer had been right in front of me almost all my life.
At age 4, every day is a new day to discover and chip away at the huge mystery block that is life, garnering new information on every front, utilizing every sensory gift given to humankind to research every object, having no previous information telling us not to. Living amongst all of these humans, just waiting for the moment to encounter one another, leaves endless opportunities. I, not differing from any other child my age, went on my adventures trying to solve life’s everyday mysteries. The summer’s heat intrigued me- seasons, weather, plants, everything was so new and inviting! At a summer camp I frolicked about, chattering to everyone I could, possibly subliminally attempting to discover this “purpose”. In the first moments of talking to these two girls at the camp something sparked inside my naïve mind, the feeling of knowing, a burst of otherworldly energy lifting my mind off the ground and away, but also, grounding me at the same time with a feeling of comfort, a unique gravity force, allegorically keeping me grounded on this earth opposed to some other galaxy. Strange how I remember this moment 11 years ago? Yes. But as I continued to grow up with these girls, acting as the siblings I never had, I relived this moment every time I was with them. This bond grew to be even more than familial, it became indispensable. A few years later, I moved from my birth home and not being able to have these souls in my life created a variation which was hard to handle. I developed new relationships that guided me and supported me, but none compared to the other. That I learned to live with and accept, to learn to be thankful that I have something so special that will continuously be deep in that hollow space in the mind where things of this nature and magnitude are stored. I have come to realize that when I am apart from these individuals I feel some significant piece is missing, but when reunited everything comes rushing back to me like a forceful river entering a lake.
This has lead me to believe in the power of that one special relationship. Some assemble in laboratories and dens attempting to discover some glimmer or hint as to what life’s meaning is. Some receive a flash of confusion and refuse to come to terms with the matter, dropping it all together figuring it’s a “lost cause”, consequently living their lives without that essential essence. I believe the answer is much simpler than many perceive. If one realizes the significance of this type of relationship, they can discover the true meaning of being on this earth. It cannot be sought after, for most times it has already been cultivated but has yet to be acknowledged. The feeling of knowing this relationship resembles an eternal flame, something so powerful and beautiful and almost indescribable, leads me to believe that discovering and cultivating this abstruse feeling is the purpose of the years we reside in this terrestrial world.
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