My parents think that I am an extremely sensitive person, for I tend to cry a lot. It wasn’t always that way. I used to smile and laugh all the time when I was little. People told me that tears were useless and they won’t make the situation any better. They are signs of emotional weakness. Well, if that’s what you think, then you’re wrong. Why can’t a person cry? After all, extreme emotions are an essential part of being human. What harms are there? I believe a person should not be ashamed to cry out loud.
A revelation occurred a few years back. I realized my ultimate goal in life. It was not to live happily ever after, as I had thought when I was four. Nor was it to achieve something so that your name will forever be engraved in history, as one of my friend believed. It was to live fully. By that, I mean to experience every emotions in every dimensions: fear, anger, sadness, joy, and so on. I thrive to experience the full scale of life. I thrive to experience the reality and beyond. Maybe I can’t experience it all, but I’ll gladly take whatever is in my way.
And maybe that’s why I cry, cry for what’s unfair, cry for my imperfections, and cry to express my feelings. Maybe that’s why I’m so sensitive.
In the past, we borrowed a movie from the library. It was Click, a 2006 movie that told the story of a man named Michael who received a universal control that controls the world around him. He soon abused the power of the remote and fast-forwarded through his life without truly living it. In the end, the man was on his deathbed when Ben, his son, informs him that he was going to work instead of being with family. When Michael was willing to risk his life to save his son from the same fate as him, tears rushed from my eyes uncontrollably. Even though the movie was intended to be a comedy, there are some pretty intense moments that touched me deeply, perhaps because I can relate to it. Too many people had lived through their lives without actually living it, and I feel sorry for them. I resolved that I will not let time slip away and will hold on to every second I have.
“You need to stronger. The world is harsh out there. You couldn’t possibly survive if you’re like this.” My father told me. That’s not true, Dad. I won’t die from it, it poses no harm to me, and it is the reason I live.
I believe that tears are expression of extreme emotions, and nothing more. I believe that pain and sadness are a part of the human experience, and nothing more.
Feel for the world and let it out. There is no harm.
And that is my 2008 New Year’s resolution.
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