As a child growing up wasn’t easy, Everyday felt like a battle field. There were no heavy arm weapons but your everyday uses of a brush, wooden spoon and fist. There were no deaths but only pain and suffering. It was an un-even battle of giant and mouse, the giant with the weapons and power and the mouse with no were to hide.
While growing up my sisters and I had to mature some-what faster to become the “grown-ups” of the house. We have learned to rely off of our won strength and abilities and suffer alone, never to rely on anyone from the outside. After our dads death the three of us each became distant in our own way, some good and some bad, but I would be lying if I said that my childhood was a complete disaster but in reality it had its moments of good times.
Most of the time the “punishments” my mom called would be because “we three” had done something wrong, though it was mostly never true, all three of us knew that our mom was suffering and knew that when she “punished” us it made her feel better, so we endured the pain.
Many times I look at my mom, than and now, and see how sad and afraid she is to be left alone by the people she loves. But other times I look past the eyes of saddened eyes to see rage and stress that is locked away.
Regardless how my mom may have treated my sisters and I, we three still love her, and even to this day I am no more than grateful that my mom gave birth to me and sacrificed everything and anything for our sakes.
There are no such things as perfect families but there are some that reach those standards of one, and looking back now I wonder if certain things were different would we maybe be like most families? happy and semi in the perfect standard?
Although I may think this way I am who I am today because of what I have been threw and all the obstacles I have passed, and even though I think those questions over and over again I wouldn’t change anything about my past, regardless all the pain and suffering that wasn’t necessary, and I believe that with every obstacle there may be a great turn out in the end, and as the days pass on, one by one I become stronger and more will powered to control my own way of life, and leave my past and scars all behind.
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