This I Believe

Mariann - Novelty, Ohio
Entered on January 8, 2008
Age Group: 50 - 65
Themes: forgiveness

I believe in the power of forgiveness. The very act or releasing another person or yourself from the grasp of blame cuts through an energetic chord which entangles parties in in a web of confusion, anger, hurt, disappointment and frustration.

At the age of five I was on the receiving end of unwanted sexual action which tore at my heart and soul for years. I blamed myself wondering what I had done to draw this to me. I was awash in self-hate. I chose to challege authority, put myself in dangerous situations and dared the fates to take me. I believed my death was imminent. Perhaps that was the only way I believed relief from the pain could come.

I was fortunate to meet and marry a wonderful man of love and integrity and along with him at my side direct my anger toward my perpetrator. With the support of my family and the confirmation by the only other witness to these acts – the perpetrator I was blessed to have the road clear to my healing.

Forgiveness was not so easily produced and many years passed with the pain simmering lightly upon us all. I began an earnest yoga practice with meditation, quiet contemplation and an honoring of the divine in us all.

Forgiveness opened like a blossom in my heart. The heaviness subsided. My life became lighter, softer, brighter. Here was the key that opened the door to my life. Truly there is power in the process of forgiveness