This I Believe

Shannon - West Valley, Utah
Entered on January 5, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death

I believe that life isn’t meant to be perfect. Life is supposed to be full of mistakes, and you’re supposed to learn from them. Everyone wants to have a life that is just like a princess. But their lives are not perfect. Just like mine.

My mom had cancer since she was little. I didn’t know that she had cancer. I always thought that she was in healthy perfect shape. Know one told me about it until I was old enough to at least understand what it was.

But, it really didn’t hit me until she was in and out of the hospital for about two years. And my dad told me that her cancer had gotten worse.

She lost all her hair, and she just didn’t seem like herself anymore.

Then one day in October 1999, she passed away. I was seven years old at the time. I felt like seven years wasn’t enough time. I needed my mom to be alive forever. Who was I going to talk to when I most needed it? I couldn’t just tell my dad everything. Who was going to be at my wedding? These were the questions that were always going through my mind. My dad told me that it was her time to go, and that God had other plans for her. I didn’t want it to be her time to go. I wasn’t ready for her to leave yet. I still needed her to be here for me.

After the death of my mom, I became less social. I didn’t talk to people as much as I used to. When other girls or boys would talk about their moms and what they did or how much they loved them. I would always feel left out, because my mom wasn’t alive. And I couldn’t talk about what she was like around other people, because I would always cry when I talked about her. My mom was my best friend.

Then a year later my dad met someone who I really liked. She was very nice. I was very happy for my dad. Once they got married I felt like my life was falling back into place finally, and it seemed to be perfect as well.

Lives are not meant to be perfect, and people shouldn’t try to perfect them. That’s what I have come to learn about life.