No two people are alike. However, it is human nature for one to envy
others. This envy is not always spoken about, and rarely is it expressed. One of my heroes, Minnie Smith, once said “I am as my Creator made me and since He is satisfied, so am I.” This realization has changed my perspective on life as a whole. Had I heard this quote earlier, maybe it would have changed some of my decisions when I was younger.
Even when I was little, I was uncertain of myself. I didn’t like how I looked, or even what I preferred. In third grade I lied to my best friend about my favorite color because I was intimidated by her and I really wanted her to accept me. For our three year relationship, I didn’t let her see the real me. I just simply agreed with her on everything, whether I believed it or not. I was so worried about what others thought about me that I never really discovered who I was. But now I realize that I shouldn’t really care what others think of me. It doesn’t really matter. People will always come in and out of my life, but I am always going to have to live with my decisions. I often wish I could go back in time and relive those three years. I believe that it would make me a more confident person today, not only in my opinions, but also in the decisions I make.
Knowing that I was created gives my life meaning. I am unique for a purpose. If people didn’t have different reasons to live, then I would have to wonder why I am different from everyone else. God made me this way with an intention for my life. I am different from everyone else, and acknowledging that is key. If God made me this way, then He loves that I am unique. If my Creator intended for me, Emily, to be different, then I need to live my life that way. I need to realize my purpose for being on this earth and live every moment reaching for that goal. Furthermore, my goal has to be one that I can reach. If I pursue another person’s goals then I am not sure that I can achieve them. Just like some children strive for straight A’s, I try to live every moment to the best it can be. My goals are set for me, not for anyone else. If I don’t accomplish them, who will?
I am not saying that I am always happy with myself. I can disappoint myself, as I often do. I don’t always wake up and look in the mirror with a smile on my face. I have learned to accept, and even embrace, my individuality. My style, opinion, preferences, and life are my own. I choose what I do. I am not always proud of myself, but it helps to know that my God is satisfied. Embracing who I am, I move forward in my life with purpose and direction.
Masks are meant for pretending. I am made to be real. Life is not a game, and I can’t go back and fix mistakes. There are no do-overs in reality. I have stopped putting on a mask and I have learned to take responsibility for my actions. I have looked in the mirror and seen who I really am. Now I am learning to show others what I see. I have learned to be satisfied with myself because I am as my Creator made me. I believe that my purpose in life is to show others this satisfaction. I believe in me.
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