This I Believe

carlos - south san francisco, California
Entered on December 19, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: parenthood

‘This I believe”

Have you ever had your childhood taken away from you? Well I have. A lot of children grow up in broken families. I grew up with a family that was broken too. My parents were addicts. My dad was a drunk and did coke. Growing up my dad was in and out of jail. My dad had a problem and so did my mom. To them coke was first. Whether they can admit it or not that came first not me or my brother. Now seventeen years of age I realize how much it hurt me.

Growing up I always knew something was different about my family. But so young I didn’t know what was going on. I thought all dads drink and go out. And I thought all moms cook and clean. I was wrong not all dads drink and not all dads beat you and your mom. I grew up faster than a lot of my other friends. Because of my parents choices I believe my childhood was stolen. Not every kid had to go visit there father in jail. Not being able to touch my dad. The one man I thought I could trust. The one man I thought loved me and wouldn’t ever hurt me, the one man I thought that would keep my family safe. Well that one man destroyed my family. That man that was my dad that no longer exists.

Seventeen years later I realize that lying and painting a picture everywhere I go, that said I had a good family was over. I couldn’t take the acting anymore. I had to put a stop to this but I didn’t know how. But I had to make a choice, was I going to keep acting for the rest of my life and protect my family or was I going to take a risk. I took a risk I knew what my dad was doing to my family was wrong and I told myself “I need to save my mom and brother.” I told my dad I no longer want him in my life, around me or my family, and I didn’t want anything from him. I rather starve than take food from that man. Those are the feelings I get from that man I once called “dad.” Now a senior in high school all I have is myself but that’s ok. Because of my “dad” I am the man I am today. It’s been two months and I haven’t said one word to my “dad” because I can’t be hurt anymore. For as long as I live I feel that I need no part of my “dad.”