I believe that life is what you make of it. I know my life wasn’t that bad, but it definitely wasn’t easy. I often feel like Alice from wonderland, standing at the fork in the road. There is a choice I have to make. The fist path is an uphill climb filled with hard work, struggles, money, and happiness. The other path is a downward spiral filled with scandalous behavior, drugs, pain, and deceit. I feel like I’m constantly contemplating on which way to go. I know who I want to be, but I also know who I am. I’m a daughter seeking approval; I’m a student seeking A’s; I’m a peer seeking acceptance and I’m a recovering drug addict seeking happiness.
You don’t pick who your parents are and you don’t pick how you were raised. I didn’t pick this path, but this was the one I was given. Having grown up in a dysfunctional home, I’ve seen my dad metamorphize from a father to a lost soul. He plunged down the rabbit hole into the dark world of the mad hatter. The tea party is what keeps him captive, his mind is gone. Like my lost father, his first son stood in front of the looking glass and at the sight of our Dad’s image, he too was lost. Though my sister isn’t lost yet, she continues down the familiar dark path she has seen our family take. Like my family I also began my journey down the dark spiraling path. As I got older I had decided that I no longer cared about anything. I was irresponsible, unpredictable, and out of control. I had hit rock bottom and was starting the mad hatter in the face. Rehab was like Alice’s special potion. It gave me the tools to obtain the key, to reopen the door to reality. I made a choice to break the chain and be different from my family. I chose to take the uphill path. I wanted more for my life than drugs and a ten by twelve cell. I made the decision to return to school and graduated at the top of my class. If you had asked me when I was younger if I could ever see myself as a college student I would have laughed in your face, but here I am. I believe that life is based on the choices you make. Its up to you to choose which path you will take when you reach the fork in the road
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.