This I Believe

Miriam - Centerville, Ohio
Entered on December 17, 2007

This I believe… the curse of abuse passes generation to generation until one person ends it – a catalyst. This catalyst probably has the hardest job in the world. Self-control is a major part of this job, and most people don’t have a whole lot of it. This catalyst knows that if he or she doesn’t stop the curse, it might never end, and it might just keep going on and on, destroying lives and ripping apart families, generation by generation. It’s a vicious cycle, and probably the most difficult thing in life to break. It takes courage and strength, but fear is always in the way; a huge road block staring the catalyst in the face, laughing, as she cowers away, afraid that if she stands up, she’ll fall, just as she always has a million times before. I want to be the catalyst; the one that brings it all to an end; the one that says “I have had enough of this. It can’t go on any further than it has.” It started with my grandfather on my dad’s side. My great-grandfather died when my grandfather was three years old. That was the year 1913. My grandfather grew up not knowing what a father was and how he was supposed to act and protect his family. Instead, he was irresponsible and abusive. And he passed it on to his sons, who passed it on to me and my brothers and sister. It is now 2007, almost 100 years later, and the curse is still going on, affecting everyone in my family and its future members. It has already passed to the next generation, with my two nieces, but I don’t have to let it pass on to my children, and I won’t. I refuse to let it take complete control.

I believe in the power of a catalyst.