Cognito ergo sum

Sarah - Andrews AFB, Maryland
Entered on December 12, 2007

The world we live in does not make it easy to believe in much. It is difficult to believe in a god, no matter what religion you might be, while innocent children are starving. It is impossible to believe in the good nature of humans when news of rape victims make headlines. After a tough breakup it is hard to believe in love or soulmates. So after faith, trust, love, and hope are gone, what is left?

No matter what it is that you believe in, sooner or later you reach a point of doubt. I am certain that most people who believe in a god at some point doubted their beliefs. Maybe something tragic happened to a loved one; maybe they just could not see how a god that is supposed to be loving and caring would let so much pain come over the world. Maybe they regained their faith, maybe they did not. It is in the nature of the word belief that doubt goes hand in hand with it.

I recently had to answer a question about what part of my body I am most proud of. I did not have to think about the answer for one second. The part of my body I am most proud of is my brain. Not because I am particularly smart, but because my brain is everything that I am. My thoughts, my feelings, my ideas, all come from that cluster of cells inside my head.

I am fortunate, because my strongest belief is the belief in myself. No matter what happens, I will never loose this belief. I might doubt decisions I made, in fact I often do. I doubt whether I chose the right major, whether I will be able to work and go to school at the same time, sometimes I doubt that I will ever become the person that I want to be. But I can not ever doubt myself. I might make mistakes, things might not turn out the way I planned or hoped they would, but no matter where I will go my brain, myself, is going with me. And all those mistakes will be part of me, and make me who I am. All other things might perish, I might not always have a family or a job, but as long as I can think I will have me. As Descartes said: I think, therefore I am.