Forgive and Forget: Learn to Open Your Heart

CARMEN - LAS CRUCES, New Mexico
Entered on December 12, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe in communication and forgiveness.

Without communication, relationships are constant merry-go rounds in the middle of a roller coaster. Communication is the cement foundation to any relationship, and without that, my friends, the relationship becomes a painstaking challenge.

I was 16 when my whole life fell down on top of my head. My parents called me into their room to reveal they would be separating. Great. Now my parents would become another statistic on the United States divorce map.

Mom would be moving out, and the worst part was she would be moving while I was away on a school trip for a week. I came home after the trip, to a missing dining room table, missing dishes and silverware, and her empty closet; that was when the feeling of emptiness and heartache began. There could be worse things in life, right? Wrong.

Two years after the separation, my dad met another woman. I want him to be happy, but this has placed a burden on my heart because my parents still do not have a permanent dot on the divorce map.

Since my parents’ separation, it has been hard for me to open my heart to anyone or full trust them. I believe that my significant other loves me. I often find myself wondering why and am amazed at how patient he is with me. I think a lot about how he has given his whole heart and soul to me, and I on the other hand, do not have the strength or courage to do so just yet. I blame my parents’ separation for the complexity of trusting someone with my heart. Instead of sharing my whole heart with the one I truly love, I share only half and the fear of sharing the other half continually gnaws at my insides. Our relationship continues to be a learning experience and each day, our love grows stronger.

For a long tine I had only regret and bitter feelings towards my mother. It took me three years to finally write her a letter telling her how I really felt. I wrote her letting her know that through the separation, she was not there for me as a mother should; rather she only tried to be my friend. I have come to forgive her for leaving our family in an emotional clutter. Throughout this painful journey, I have come to realize that she is human just as I am.

I once believed I would never be able to forgive my mother. In the end, I had the strength to forgive her. Forgiving my mother not only helped me fain peace with her, but also helped me gain inner peace with myself.

There could be far worse things in life.