This I Believe

Julie - Wilmington, Massachusetts
Entered on December 9, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death

I Believe That When Someone You Love is Dying it is Okay to Let Go

I believe that when someone you love is suffering, letting go is okay. When your loved one is lying in a room where there is no more hope left and you have no more prayers left, its okay to wipe away the tears and say goodbye. I experienced this with my grandmother four years ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through.

When I heard the sounds of the heart monitor, and the screaming in the nursing home, that’s when I knew it was time. My grandma, whom we called Meme, was always outgoing, energetic, and full of pep. Every summer, she went back to her hometown in West Arichat, Nova Scotia to visit all her brothers and sisters and be home with her family. Usually my mom, dad, sister, and I would go up there and drive them home. It was our second day up there. I can still remember like it was yesterday. In the old house where we stayed, there was a breakfast table where we would all sit in the morning. My grandma was walking away from the breakfast table and she fell and had trouble getting up. But apparently, this was not the first time. So we took her to doctors and specialists, but no one knew why she kept falling.

My grandparents moved in with us later that fall. I was so excited! It would be like a slumber party 24/7! But the party was over quickly when she fell again and couldn’t get up this time. For the next few months she stayed at the nursing home and all I did was wish she would come home. I prayed and cried everyday. It was like I was a water fountain that would never turn off. We finally found out she had ALS. And if you have ever met anyone with ALS then you know that there is not much time left.

She got to a point where she couldn’t move, talk, or even breath. I used to go everyday to visit her. At the end was when it got hard. At a point I knew she was suffering so badly that if she died she would be in peace and be my guardian angel and always protect me. The tears still come back, but the pain she went through never will. My grandma died on a Saturday night, and although it was the worst time of my life, I know that she is free. I loved her with all my heart. In the end when someone you love is suffering, love is what makes saying goodbye okay.