This I Believe

Nicole - San Diego, California
Entered on December 7, 2007

I believe dependency is important. It’s amazing to me how the young are so helpless, completely dependent upon their guardian. It’s vital to learn from others how to eat, talk, sleep, walk, all in accordance to the society in which they live.

Once you know how to survive, it doesn’t get much easier. Now you have to live in a way of which others approve, for me it was my parents. They always nagged at me: go to school, eat your vegetables, brush your teeth, clean your room, pray before bed, be home by ten, and whatever else you can think of.

This was the normal routine for me, up until I declined my volleyball scholarship offers after high school and at seventeen moved to Colorado to get my college degree. I wanted to experience something new and that is what I did. My parents didn’t provide much financially, making it hard for me pay out-of-state tuition, or better yet to fly home to attend my friend’s funeral from dying of a cancerous brain tumor. Soon after a year went by, I moved back home; exactly what they wanted.

I didn’t realize how much I found out about myself while away until I moved back! I was now extremely Liberal, and found myself bagging on Bush much like I would a fat kid playing dodgeball. I had never known how I felt about abortion, the death penalty, religion, or gays and lesbians. Until I moved out, all I ever believed was what my parents believed.

After moving out, I found out who I really was. But now my open-mindedness, Buddhist/Spiritualist ways in a Christian home while getting my Criminal Justice degree after having my cousin murdered while on duty, and coming home wasted to my mom reading some kind of Jesus book, didn’t work out very well.

I didn’t want to be there, I never again wanted to find myself dependent upon anyone. I began working two jobs, just to get the heck out; and that’s coming from someone who is extremely close to her family (despite our differences).

I now realize how important individuality is and how much I appreciate my independence. Now I can stay at a bar until 4 a.m. getting plastered with crazy emo kids wearing their little sisters jeans, just to end up throwing up all the next morning if I wanted to! Or maybe even take a trip to Alaska and get hitched to an Eskimo and have husky babies! Whatever the case may be, I made the decision myself and that’s what counts… right?