I’ve worn socks all my life. I bet you have too. I believe socks are taken for granted. Many things I believe are complicated and unexplainable so, very simply, I believe in socks.
I believe in tube socks, crew socks, knee socks, trouser socks, woolly socks, slipper socks, toe socks…I believe in socks of all kinds. Except anklets. I don’t believe in anklet socks; they make my ankles feel itchy.
I believe in the usefulness of socks. When I asked my friends what they thought about socks, they all said, “Socks keep your feet warm.” Indeed, socks are very useful for keeping the tootsies toasty. There’s something to be said about putting on a pair of soft, thick socks on a cold December morning before getting out of bed. Slippers or houseshoes don’t cut it; they don’t fit snugly, like a second skin, the way socks do. Of course the positive position for socks can be argued against. Some people don’t like socks because socks make their feet hot, especially in the summer. But for this purpose, to keep our feet warm in winter, there’s nothing better than a pair of socks.
I believe socks can save your life. Upon their landing in Vietnam, Lieutenant Dan Taylor told Forrest Gump and Bubba that the most important piece of GI gear that could be the difference between life and death is a pair of socks.
I believe socks have the power to make people laugh. They can be used to make nifty sock puppets, but there’s not enough time in the day to extol the virtues of a good sock puppet. I believe in a sock’s ability to make people smile, even without glued-on googley eyes.
I believe socks have the power to make people happy. For men who mostly wear somber black socks because “they go with any shoe,” I don’t believe socks would quite thrill them like they do certain kinds of people who value novelty. I believe socks can improve a sour mood and brighten up a dreary day, at least mine, anyway. Toe socks work especially for me. I don’t know how any slightly unhinged person wouldn’t have a little happy feeling as they slid their feet into a multicolored sock and then threaded their toes into each individual compartment.
I believe in socks. Up the socks!