I believe that you are going to die. I will too, so its not like you are alone. I am far too old and set in my ways to do anything, but in light of your forthcoming death you should do something with your life. You took the time to read this, which is fine by me because I wrote it, but reading this is a waste of time you could have spent better.
Do you have an irrational fear? Send it to striking comedy sketch writers. Have you been infected with SARS? Put that on your resume, it tells an employer that you don’t mess around with sick days and really makes you stand out!
Unlike me – write how you live your daily life, command the world’s attention with your humble mantra and inspire hope in the world. It’s not that hard if you are sincere, hearing a heart-warming story is always a pleasant experience! I have a suspicion that you are still waiting for me to spell out my own beliefs; still waiting to give you hope. Only problem is that I don’t care and wouldn’t even if I could!
Seize the day before someone else does it for you and for a lot less money. Don’t worry about money, money won’t make you happy. It can make you sad, but winning a million dollars isn’t like winning a million Euro; you have to think about the future – your future house value, the future resale value on your lease vehicle, and your future retirement fund.
These are really the important things in life! I have mistakenly joined that world with a recent Medicaid application forty-three years premature. Now a senior citizen reading jargon like “Part D” and “expensive prescriptions” makes me wonder about life’s end. Today we can live longer and happier lives, medicated and pacified by joining the AARP and listening to talk radio. We cement our power by voting and over representing causes we feel are more deserving that saving peoples lives or making the world more peaceful.
So before you die write the novel you always wanted to, learn to carve ice blocks with a chain saw, and finally – never call it quits. No sense ending life prematurely, that’s one less vote! Go see a psychiatrist, the service industry needs you and so do those pharmaceutical companies! Cheer up, everyone else is judging you and its not what you know but who you know! So chest out ladies, with that kind of attitude you will never get a husband!
So before I expire, take this with you. I am myself and you are yourself. It does not matter what I believe in if you don’t have enough personal opinion to contradict what is ridiculous and what isn’t.
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