This I Believe

Hilary - Kentwood, Michigan
Entered on December 6, 2007

This I Believe

I’m an adult now but I believe in having new dreams.

I love that when life seems to be turning me upside down on a rollercoaster which never seems to end, I have my dreams. I embrace them when I feel “I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.” No matter what, I have these thoughts and wishes to hold on to regardless of where my life is taking me. I’ve dreamt about things I’d like to do, places I’d like to see and people I’d like to meet. These hopes come in flourishes but sometimes we forget them.

I remember the first time I went to the symphony. I watched as the conductor lifted his arms to the large group of musicians and I sat astonished at the sounds I was hearing. I can remember telling my sister this is what I want to do. I can also recall the first moment in high school when I stepped into a bookstore breathing the musky smell of older pages mixed with the fresh, crisp smell of the new ones. I thought I would love to have one of my own bookstores.

But when I graduated high school, things were different. Discussions of responsibility gripped my every thought and I was constantly being told to search for “stable” careers. My life became more complicated and filled with obligations. I spent a lot of time helping my mom take care of my dad in the midst of his heart attacks. The week of my graduation I stood in his room and saw the many tubes coming from his body realizing that the simplicity you have when your younger was harder to grasp. I worked part-time jobs to pay for college and I began to forget these original aspirations. But I continued to search for other goals I would like to see through.

After some time, I realized I wanted to become a teacher and have a classroom of my own. I want to guide students to a better understanding of the world and more developed knowledge so maybe some of them find their dreams.

Now I’m an adult and I’ve gotten a little older. Perhaps many realize their original dreams seem “childish” but I’ve realized that everything happens for a reason. Possibly the reason these dreams have not become part of my reality is because I think of them when life gets difficult. A feeling there are still goals to strive for. I hold on to these thoughts when I feel confused because why throw them away when anything is possible? Besides, there will always be the sounds of the orchestra and smell of the books in my heart because I believe in holding onto dreams.