Going away to college was hard for me, but I think it was harder for my mom. She always says I never go home enough. But every time I went home, my mother would ask me to help her bake chocolate chip cookies. But who doesn’t love chocolate chip cookies? So I helped…for awhile.
It was fun at first. My mother and I would giggle about nothing, talk about our lives without each other in it everyday, crack stupid jokes, and tell dumb stories. But after a few weekends the cookies got boring and routine. The cookies started to hurt my stomach and I missed my friends. So one Sunday instead of baking with her, I left and hung out with my friends.
When I got back to my house I could tell my mother was upset and had been crying. I asked her what was bothering her. She didn’t answer. I tried to hug her and she turned away. So instead of finding out what was it was that upset her, I just said my good-byes to the rest of my family and I got into my car. As I am driving down my street my mother called. She asked what was so important on a Sunday afternoon that I couldn’t bake with her. I replied that the cookies were too routine and making my stomach hurt weekend after weekend. I told her I missed my friends and sometimes I want more than just two days to hang out with them. I didn’t get what the big deal was.
Then I heard her sniffle. She then says, so quietly that I could barely hear her, Madison, I just like to see you smile. She quietly said she loved me, told me she was proud of me, and then hung up. I also hung up the phone and entered the highway, as my stomach drops to the floor. As I think about my mothers words, I realize that I am the worst daughter in the history of daughters. My mother just wanted to hang out with me. She just wanted to talk with her baby. She just wanted to see my smile. I finally got it. It was never about the cookies or me hanging out with my friends. It was all about my mother missing me and me realizing that she does. I now believe in warm cookies.
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