This I believe: everything happens for a reason. If anything bad would happen to me I’d always say, “Oh well, it was meant to be.” I had always found faith in my belief and I figured that’s how God wants it, that’s how it was written to happen. Every little emotional pain or drama I go through in the end only makes me stronger. From something as, “Oh I guess I just wasn’t meant to get that job” to “ I just wasn’t meant to go to the senior trip.” Sadly, to the tragic death of my Cousin Upkaar Singh Gill, I had pretty much lost my faith for a moment. I just couldn’t believe God would let something like that happen to such a good hearted person, and I was angry for the same reason.
After my aunt Sukhi had, had her first child she developed a type of cervical cancer. Though she survived from it, she was told she would never be able to have children again. Fourteen months later Sukhi had my cousin Upkaar. My cousin Uppa was a miracle from the start. The trio lived in Richmond without my aunt’s husband present. There goal was to keep their mother happy and to move out of the bad neighborhood of Richmond. Uppa had been working since the age of fifteen. He and his brother finally saved enough money to buy a house next year, things were looking up and they were finally happy. Uppa even began his new job as a mechanic, something he always wanted to do. Sadly, Uppa passed at the age of 25 due to a tragic gun accident. Like many people in Richmond, Uppa and Jesse kept a gun at their apartment for protection. On August 27, 2007 he came home early from work, and told my aunt he was going to take a shower before he ate. He had forgotten that he left his loaded gun in his hamper, when he reached for some clothing in his hamper the gun went off going straight to his head killing him instantly. You only hear about stuff like this, you never know anyone who has accidents like these, let alone it happening to your own family. When I heard this news, my heart felt like it dropped into my stomach. It was as if I was having one of those dreams where you feel like your suffocating. It was no dream, and even though I pinched myself to bruises I wasn’t waking up, and it really did happen. Upkaar left away before he could ever live out his dream he had worked so hard for. His death is a horrible shock that my family may never fully recover from.
This tragic event brought out feelings of anger and frustration towards God that I had never experienced before. I didn’t understand why something like that would happen to someone with such a good heart. Why is it always the good people who die while Osama Bin laden and crazy serial killers live on? I felt like my family was cheated. I felt like God didn’t care about me or my family. I wondered how can God let something like this happen to someone who cared so much for his mother, someone who worked so hard, and believed in God so much. I simply refused to believe that he was meant to leave us, that he was meant to die the way he did. After weeks of wondering what would or should have happened, I finally realized I couldn’t stay being so negative and depressed. I now understand that no matter how young and dear he was to us, maybe it just was his time to go.
I believe everything happens for a reason and there is a reason my cousin was taken away from us. I don’t know what it is but I accept it. These past couple of months took me from each and opposite views of my belief. I went from believing, to hating, and ultimately believing even stronger. I do believe God had sent us an angel.
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